White blood in my veins, pure football in my heart

thegayswhocouldfly:

so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”

thats it

the dad joke to end all dad jokes

(Source: duns-f0r-hands, via benzemass)

carlo-ancelotti:

I tell you that more than 1100 people were killed, the majority was innocent and helpless, and this is what you have to say?

"I don’t want to comment on the Israel-Gaza conflict, because it’s complicated."
“I don’t want to take sides so I’m neutral.”
“Israel is just protecting its people and…

eldiablocabra:

awkwardvagina:

alvxandra:

oh look it’s the leader of the free world breaking the cardinal rule of chipotleimage

image

"Retract your arm immediately, Mr. President" 

(via cescaddict)